


Blood On My Hands

by Cherryblossomstree



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America, James Buchanan Barnes - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), james barnes - Fandom
Genre: Blood, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes is literally the light of my life:), F/M, First Person, Gun Violence, thank you for reading!, tw blood, tw guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherryblossomstree/pseuds/Cherryblossomstree
Summary: Bucky comforts you as you witness the death of your mother.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Bucky Barnes/Reader, James Buchanan Barnes x Reader
Kudos: 5





	Blood On My Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky Barnes x Reader (First Person)
> 
> Word Count: 1,276
> 
> Extra Warnings: Blood. Lots of it. Guns, gore, angst, death
> 
> A/N: Here is another short story! The prompt was “Blood on hands” So this is what I wrote based on that! Hope you enjoy :D

The only thing that helped me sleep at night was knowing that my mom was in a better place. Watching HYDRA shoot her, will forever be etched into my brain. The face of bravery plastered on her white skin, her hands held strongly above her head, her golden-brown eyes upon mine. The sound of the gun pierced all of our ears, and I was finally let out of my restraints to run to my mother. I applied pressure to the wound, but it wasn’t working. The blood was seeping through my fingers, and soaking my hands, dying them a dark scarlet red. Looking at the blood on my hands makes me think about everything I did over in my lifetime. What stupid things I did when I was little, what I didn’t do.

As I was leaning over the dead body of my mother, the feeling of despair, and abandonment entered my mind. It was my fault that I brought her here. I brought her into this mess. If only I didn’t join the army. Why did I join the Army against her wishes? Why!? That is all I am going to be able to ask myself now. I laid my head on her chest bearly letting out a breath to hear a heartbeat that wasn’t there. “Come back to me mama. Please!” I cried softly. I knew she wasn’t coming back, I knew it. But what’s wrong with a little hope in times of darkness?

Footsteps sounded from behind me. I sat up from my mother’s body and I looked at the wet, crimson liquid that covered my hands. Blood. I was used to blood. But this… this is different. Why is this different? I know the answer to that. We all do. She is my mother! She shouldn’t have been the target! I should have told them what they wanted. I was the one who knew the secret. I was the one who knew the ingredients. I was the one who knew the patient. I was the one who knew what the serum did. I knew. Panic came over me. I looked around to see if I could find anything that I could take the bullet out with. This moment in time was the denial that I held in myself. She isn’t dead! I know she’s not! Please don’t let her be dead! My hands fumbled at her shirt buttons to uncover the wound. It was too difficult with shaking hands.

A soft touch to the shoulder brought me back to earth. I looked up to see Bucky. My loving, protective, and empathic husband. He saw the pain in my eyes and tears glossed over them once more. I still felt the sticky liquid on my hands. I peeled my eyes away from Bucky for a small moment. My eyes met my hands. I wanted to wipe it all off, but all I could do was stare. Bucky Kneeled beside me, taking my shaking hands in his. I looked him in the eyes and whispered “This is all my fault.” Bucky shook his head in empathy. He knew what it felt like to see the life disappear from a person. It was painful. He slowly helped me up. He put his hand on my face and wiped the salted water flowing out of my eyes. He said quietly “This is not your fault. She was a brave woman. That’s where I know you got your bravery from.” I looked back at my hands once more and sighed. Bucky placed his hands on my tear-streaked cheeks. He led my eyes back to his and said “Y/N, oh my dear dear Y/N. “ He leaned in inch by inch and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I melted into his embrace and put my arms around his torso. I said softly, laying my head on his chest, “Thank you bucky., For everything.”

ENDING ONE

The sound of a gun was heard, and a searing pain in my back made its presence. I fell limp against Bucky. Slowly falling to the ground with him. “No. No! NO PLEASE!!”

He shielded my body from any more bullets that may come again. Reaching into his gun holster, he quickly aimed and shot the man who had hurt his wife. Infuriated, he turned his attention back to me. My breathing became shallow and short. I was lying in a pool of my own and my mother’s blood. “Bucky?” He pulled me into his lap and said “Doll, try not to talk. You are badly in-” I cut him off by leaning up and kissing him. He cradled my back and my neck as we shared one last moment together.

I started to cough. My head was beginning to get fuzzy. “B-bucky.” I sobbed. “I don’t want to leave yet.” He moved the hair from my face and wiped the tears along with it. He said, “Doll, you are not leaving me.” I smiled and said weakly “I’ll always be here.” I pointed to his chest, indicating I would always be with him in my heart. “I love you bucky. I love you so so much.” He kissed me one last time with tears of his own in his eyes. “I love you Y/N…” I leaned into Bucky, pleading that I would stay alive just a little longer. I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to be there with him. I need to be there with him. “Please don’t go. Please.” He choked into the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes and took my last breath in my loving husband's arms.

ENDING TWO

BANG!

Bucky and I ducked down. He pulled me behind him protectively and pulled his M4A1 machine gun from beside him. While he loaded his, I grabbed my Glock 19 from my holster. I aimed it in the general direction of where the bullet came from. Another shot rang through the large room we were in. The brief illumination of the bullet making its way out of the barrel caught my attention to the left. I took a shot, and heard a grunt and then a thump of a body hitting the ground. I smirked to myself acknowledging my gun skills; Bucky took a shot at him, just for the insurance of the death. 

He made his way back to me, and said “Nice shot doll! Come on, let’s go before any more of them come.” It came time for me to accept the fact that my mother was dead. I crawled over to her body and kissed her head one last time. I smiled at her. She is beautiful even when her eyes have closed for the last time. She has always been beautiful. I took a deep breath, took Bucky’s outstretched hand, and we were off to see the daylight outside of the hydra base.

We all have to learn to let go. To move on from the hardships, and move forward with an open mind. There is one thing we all have to learn sometime in life. We have to learn to lose what we love. Sometime, somewhere it will happen. Today for example. I lost the woman I have loved unconditionally from the time I was born, and I will always love until I meet with her again. I learned that Bucky learned that, and my mother learned that. With a new mindset, I am at peace with my mind knowing that the blood on my hands is not from my mother’s dying body, but from her fighting body. She lost a simple battle. But she will win her war.


End file.
